Dearka sat quietly in the family study staring at a wall. He didn't feel quite like himself these days and had refused to share what was bothering him with anyone else.

"Are you going to say something or should I just talk to myself?" a meek and innocent voice interrupted his thoughts.

His eyes glazed over with frustration at one of the many he blamed for the entire mess he was in. As he stood up from his place on the leather sofa he gave a small shoulder jerk as if to shrug the intrusion away.

"I guess so," she responded solemnly.

It had been months since the two had been announced as an engaged couple, but neither felt like one. Sure they were forced to events by their parents, but the highlight of their days were when the two were practically locked in a room together in order to talk about their lives and their future together.

"This girl will never understand me the way SHE did," Dearka thought angrily as he flipped through one of the books on the shelf.

He was desperate to find anything to pass the excruciatingly painfully hour he was left with his fiancée. Time ticked slowly away as he felt another part of himself dying. Cadey had been left twiddling her thumbs with nothing to keep herself occupied. Her family had stripped away all she found enjoyable.

"I could go for my cell phone right about now," she thought desperately.

She continued to look upon the young blonde man in front of her as he continued to flip through his book. He continually thwarted all her attempts at a civil discussion and she had just about given up on him.

"It's not like I didn't have a life before this," Cadey thought moving from her own spot toward the window.

She looked behind her hoping to gain his attention. Softly she cleared her throat. No response.

"What do I need to do to get him to talk to me like a normal human being?" she thought beginning to become irritated.

She tried again to get his attention with the same action she had used previously.

"If your throat's dry you could always try pouring yourself a glass of water from the bar," Dearka replied never looking away from the book.

"Well at least he spoke," she thought as she sighed at the failed attempt.

He continued to lean on the built-in bookcase in his grey shirt and khaki pants. Not much had changed about him since the previous war except for how he dealt with things.

Dearka used to be full of life and passion. Now he felt as though he was an empty shell of the man he once was. His entire life was spent feeding off of the pain or stupidity of others with the use of his slick comebacks and sarcastic remarks until he met 'her'. It was the last time he said anything so cynical on purpose, that was until he was forced to part with her.

He had sworn he would come back for her but when he had the chance to tell his mother the truth, he couldn't do it. He had just stood there and let the words elude him. She had given him ample opportunity to say what was on his mind and still he had bit his tongue and followed orders as a good son would.

"Why didn't I speak up that day?" he questioned in his head.

His thoughts returned to the day he sealed his fate with the young woman locked in the study with him. He remembered it well, how could he forget? It was the day he actually wished he was still at war.

A warm crisp breeze interrupted his memories and he turned his head to see the culprit. There she was, the young beautiful brunette soaking in the suns rays at the window she had just opened.

"You know it's rude to touch things that don't belong to you without asking permission first," he said in a haughty tone.

Cadey turned to face him with tears dancing in her eyes. She had tried so hard to grab his attention to no avail and now he was yelling at her for not asking first.

"I'm sorry, I'll close it," she said shakily beginning to pull the windows closed.

Dearka offered no apologies for his behavior. As far as he was concerned she was just a kid who had no idea how the world around them worked. All she knew was how to shop and look pretty.

"A trophy wife, that's all you'll ever be. I let true love slip through my fingers," he thought angrily.

He looked over at her again and noticed something different about her. Her face was glistening due to the falling tears that he caused. He squinted in aggravation unsure of how to react. Had he made her cry with such a simple complaint?

"I... think I'd like to go home now," she said softly trying to stifle the tears that flowed.

She was only fifteen and so easily hurt by the words Dearka would say to her. He found it better to just keep quiet, but most of the time she made it so difficult due to her chattiness.

"Well if it was that easy princess I would have tossed you out of here a long time ago," he stated coldly.

Cadey moved from her spot at the window she had closed toward her seat, the tears now falling freely but with no sound escaping from her lips. When she sat down again, she could feel his eyes burning through her.

"A nuisance and nothing more," he thought.

He couldn't control the way he felt and the worst part was he was beginning to feel like a monster. It wasn't her he was upset with; it was himself for not standing up to his father, for letting 'her' go.

"I'm sorry if I've done something to offend you. I'm really trying my best. I'll do anything you ask me to. Just tell me what to do to make you happy," she cried the pain echoing in her voice.

Memories flooded Dearka's mind while Cadey continued to sob softly on the sofa.

Three months prior...

Dearka entered the home he had been away from for almost two years. First he had entered the military against his father's wishes and then was immediate assigned to the Le Creuset team with no time off to visit home. Being captured by the enemy half way through the war didn't help him in that department either. Dearka looked around from his place in the foyer.

"I guess nobody's home yet," he thought entering his home.

There was no sign of life, not even that of the staff. It could only mean one thing.

"My parents are still at Aprilius One I guess," he concluded.

He shrugged it off and headed up the stairs toward his room. As he entered and flipped the light switch more memories invaded him of all the things he believed and the people he knew before he left this room the first time. Pictures of his friends lined a board above his desk. Most of them had joined the military as well and he hadn't heard about their whereabouts being as busy as he was. He could only hope they survived too. He tossed his keys on the desk and walked over to his bed. The sheets were blue flannel with a plaid pattern. As he hit the pillow his head spun.

"Owww," he said grabbing the left side of his forehead. "Still hurts," he flinched.

It had only been a few days since his departure from the Archangel and his injuries were still pretty fresh. He rolled over on to his back and looked up at the ceiling with his arms behind his head.

"Now what do I do? Should I return to ZAFT for the sake of keeping the peace?" he asked himself.

Dearka slowly drifted off to sleep, Miriallia and his future still playing on his mind.

A few hours later...

The door to his bedroom opened and he heard a sweet voice calling his name.

"Dearka; Dearka are you awake honey?" his mother called to him softly.

She entered his room and went to his bedside. She had turned on the dim feature to his light as to not sting his eyes while waking him. Her hand gently brushed the side of his face. Slowly his eyes began to open.

"Mom," he moaned with fatigue.

"Hi sweetheart, I'm so glad to see you home safely," she said with delighted tears.

He began to sit up from his bed forgetting his head injury again. "Ugh," he flinched grabbing again for it.

"Dearka!" his mother rushed to help her son.

"I'm okay mom. I just got a little banged up is all," he answered with a small smile.

"Maybe we should have the family doctor check you out," she said concerned.

Dearka just shook his head, "Its okay mom. I was given a clean bill of health from the doctors at ZAFT."

She sighed in disapproval.

"Well, you need to get up for a moment and get cleaned up," she told him.

He just looked at her with a blank stare.

"Your father has company and something he needs to discuss with you personally," she replied.

Now it was his turn to sigh his disapproval. But instead of putting up a fight with his mother, he shook his head again indicating he understood.

"What could he want this time, especially if he has company and wants me presentable," he thought untrustingly.

Dearka stood up from his bed as his mother made her way out of the door closing it behind her. He made his way to the bathroom to take a quick shower. When he was done he tossed on his black shirt and gray slacks. He finished his look by brushing his thick wavy blonde hair back in place before heading downstairs. As he entered the hall, his mother turned the corner startling him.

"Mom!" he half screamed.

She shushed him and dragged him to her room.

"This can't be good," he thought.

As the door shut behind them she put her finger to her mouth signaling him for his silence.

"Before you go down there," she whispered, "I want to let you know why your father wants to see you and what I expect of your behavior as well."

"Nope, definitely not good," he re-iterated to himself.

"I told your father I wouldn't say anything to you and that I would let him handle it. But, after the display between you two the last time and the way you handled the confrontation left me a little wary," she explained to him.

He just blinked at her. He knew full well she was reminding him of the screaming match he and his father had when he said he was joining the military. He had been so mad that he just stormed out the door without looking back.

"You can't do what you did two years ago. This is not only important to your father, but to me as well," she explained still whispering.

"What is it already?" Dearka asked impatiently.

She looked into her son's deep violet eyes. They were the same as hers, as were so many of his features.

"Orson White and his daughter Cadey from Sextillis City are downstairs in the lounge with your father right now. And I realize how mad you are going to get but I need you to be appropriate. This is not something you can fight without embarrassing the entire family name. When you walk down there your father is going to speak to you alone in the study about the proposition of marrying Cadey in the future," she finished waiting for his reaction.

Just as she expected his eyes widened and a bit of fiery rage began to burn.

"What?" he yelled back softly.

"Dearka, don't start now. I expect you to go down there on your BEST behavior and listen to your father with the utmost respect and agree to this arrangement," she said sternly.

She had never used such a direct tone with him before. He knew she was serious, but how could they decide this before even bringing it to his attention. He just arrived home from a war that he was almost killed in a multiple of times. They could have at least told him before inviting Council Member White and his daughter to their home.

"Ever the tactician, aren't you dad? You knew I would have to say yes if they were in the house. Especially since this not only reflects on you, but mom too and now my status if I want to return to ZAFT," he thought venomously.

He was defeated. This is not what he expected as his welcome home and what about Miriallia?

"I promised her I'd come back for her someday," he thought remembering his words to Miriallia.

The frown on his face made his mother sad herself.

"This is for your own good," she stated.

He just looked at her still depressed.

"This is a very important arrangement Dearka. She is a very sweet girl. It's time to grow up and forget about everything that you did in the past. You know it will be important to your status in ZAFT as well," she explained.

"How does she do that? She has the ability to turn this around on me every time. But Miriallia," he thought again with his heart now aching.

"Dearka is there something you need to tell me?" she asked.

She could see there was something on his mind and was now trying to coax her son into an explanation.

"It's just that..." he trailed off.

His mother raised an eyebrow to him.

"Forget it. It doesn't matter anyway," he said now even more depressed.

"I'll give you a moment to compose yourself and I'll tell your father you'll be right down. And I mean it Dearka Elsman, your BEST behavior," she said again.

All Dearka could do was sigh to himself again.

"Right, my best behavior," he replied.

He walked into his parents' bathroom to look at himself in the mirror. After composing himself as his mother suggested he began to walk down to his ominous future. The long walk down the stairs felt like a death march, his mother not far ahead of him knocked on the door to the study. He heard her voice as she told his father he was ready to speak with him.

"Tad, I have Dearka for you as you requested," his mother's soft voice rang in his ears.

"Send him in," his father said with his voice full of authority.

Dearka slowly walked to the door with fear of entering the room. The last time he faced his father was the day he stormed out to join the military against his wishes. That stunt alone made it difficult for Dearka to feel comfortable around his father. He also knew just down the way were another Council representative and his daughter expecting this to have already been agreed upon by him. As Dearka stepped over the threshold, he felt his mother grasp his arm to turn him toward her. She lifted his chin to force him to gaze into her eyes, the watery amethyst orbs ready to explode with anger.

"Dearka, I love you. Don't ever forget that," his mother said gently.

He closed his eyes and placed a false smile on his face in an attempt to humor her. There was nothing he could do now. The last person in the world he ever wanted to hurt again was his mother after what he put her through when he left for war in the first place.

"I know you're only doing what you think is best for me," he said quiet enough for his father not to hear.

He pulled his arms away from his mothers grip and entered the room where he would be told how he was to live his life and what the future would hold for him. His father sat behind the desk as his mother shut the door when she exited the room.

"You asked to see me dad?" Dearka asked already knowing the outcome.

"Please sit son," his father said while standing up.

Dearka obeyed and sat in the chair in front of the desk as his father encircled him like a vulture. His heart almost stopped as his father's eyes pierced through him like arrows.

"You can cut the act Dearka, I know your mother too well. There is no way she had the ability to not warn you before you stepped through this door," he stated matter-of-factly.

Dearka breathed out a sigh of frustration never looking directly at his father.

"Why are you doing this dad?" Dearka asked, the hurt showing.

"Because it's time for you to grow up and be the man we raised you to be," his father said.

"You don't think the war did that for me?" Dearka questioned with a slight attitude.

He had watched friends and enemies alike die in front of his eyes. He had been imprisoned for months and almost killed a multitude of times, yet even now his father felt that he was still the playboy he was before it all began.

"Maybe it did a little, but I can tell by the tone in your voice that it hasn't done enough," his father scolded.

"But I don't want...," he started, his father cutting him off.

"You don't always get what you want Dearka," his father's voice threatened.

Dearka's eyes dropped to the ground. He should be figuring out his life to return to Miriallia, not sitting in the study with his father discussing an arranged marriage with a Council Member's daughter. His father leaned on the front of the desk folding his arms before asking the question weighing on his mind.

"So, who is she?" he asked.

Dearka contemplated his fathers' question. For all he knew, he was just being set up as usual. His father never really did care for his personal life. As long as he didn't do anything that would reflect badly on their family name, it was anything goes.

"What does it matter? You won't change your mind about this," Dearka stated with a huff.

"You're right, it doesn't matter. She isn't the one your future lies with. Let's be honest even if I hadn't arranged this marriage you wouldn't have ended up with whatever girl you were manipulating into bed with you," his father said knowing his son's behavior all too well.

"It wasn't like that!" Dearka yelled.

"I find that hard to believe, but it's not a concern anymore. I expect you understand you also can't go chasing other women around either now that this is official," Tad replied.

"I didn't even agree yet," Dearka scowled.

His arms crossed in front of him and his brow furrowed in anger. He felt his rage getting the better of him until an image flashed in his mind. The look on Miriallia's face when she had said she didn't wish Coordinators to all be killed entered his memory. He had remembered scowling the way he was now and then just the look on her face made his heart melt.

"It seems whomever she was, she did a number on you. I can only hope Cadey will be able to do the same for you," his father responded to Dearka's daze.

Dearka's head flipped around and he jerked back into the present time where he was being forced to obey his parents' orders. He was just about to protest again when a knock on the door erupted.

"Come in dear," Tad called out.

Dearka sighed and let out the breath he had inhaled to protest. His mother entered the room again and walked toward her husband. She was a beautiful woman who loved her son more than anything in the world and Dearka knew she was just trying to do what she thought was right.

"Tad, the White's are getting a little antsy are the two of you almost done?" she asked with her own violet eyes sparkling.

"How can I let my mother down like this, again? I have no choice," Dearka thought.

He stood up from his chair and began to walk toward the door never looking at either his mother or father. Tad watched his son's despondent features, as he got closer to the exit.

"Where do you think you're going?" Tad asked irritably.

Dearka turned around to face his parents before answering. "Well I have to officially introduce myself to my fiancée, don't I?"

A smile crept on his fathers' face while his mother stood there uncertain from the way he made his statement.

"Maybe we shouldn't force him into something like this," his mother said tugging on her husband's arm.

"Don't let his little act fool you dear. You know what kind of man he is now and what kind of man he could become from this arrangement. This is the best thing for him. It's time he settle down and start a family," his father replied.

"You may be able to force me into this marriage, but you're crazy if you think I'd ever want to have a family. I'm not the fatherly type," Dearka said without looking back and heading out of the room.

He had left no opportunity for his father to react to his comment. He knew if he even left the smallest of moments he would be torn apart for those words. But it was true, he didn't ever want to be a father, it just wasn't in his nature.

"Dearka?" the meek little voice snapped him back to reality.

"What now?" he snapped at her.

"You haven't answered me yet. What can I do to make you happy with me? I'll do anything you ask," she repeated.

"Anything, huh?" he said with a devilish grin and a raised eyebrow.

Cadey stood up in shock at his insinuation. "You can't mean..."

"If you're not willing, then there isn't anything else I would want from you. Well nothing that interests me anyway," he replied with a smirk.

"That ought to shut her up," he thought.

"But I can't do that, we're not married yet," she replied in desperation.

"That's the only think I want from you right now and it's the only thing that would make me REALLY happy. But if you can't do it because we're not married then just forget I said anything and just leave me alone. I don't want anything to do with you until you are ready," he continued to put his plan in motion.

Cadey sat back down and pondered his request before speaking up again. "I guess I could do that if you really want me to. We are engaged to marry which is pretty close to the same thing. But I'm not really comfortable because I've never... so are you sure that's the only thing I can do to make you happy right now?"

Dearka looked up in shock. He had never expected her to change her mind like that or agree to his tainted request. All he was trying to do was freak her out, but now she was willing to do what he asked of her.

"No forget it. I'm not interested anymore," Dearka said trying to get himself out of the tangled web he'd woven.

"Forgive me, I said I would do anything and I will. I just wanted it to be special when we..." Cadey stuttered.

The door to the room opened revealing Gerald allowing Dearka to breathe a sigh of relief. He tossed the book he had in his hand to the shelf of the bookcase and scurried toward the door.

"I said forget it. Maybe next time if you still feel like doing anything for me," he said still trying to pretend he had been serious. I'll see you in a couple of days, I have some things to do for the military and then we'll be locked up together at one of our family's homes again," he said with a shrewd comment.

"Bye," she said without him even able to hear her due to the fact he was already half way up the stairs toward his bedroom.

"This way Miss White," Gerald said leading her toward the exit.

"He really doesn't like me at all. I don't know what to do to satisfy him," she said with a sigh.

"He'll come around soon Miss, I've known him since he was a baby. It takes a while for him to attach himself to people," Gerald said wisely.

"I hope you're right for both his and my sake," Cadey said walking toward the door.